just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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