is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
