Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
