yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
