How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize