I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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