Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize