It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
