why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
