im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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