Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
