i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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