Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
