D3 body, D1 cock
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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