Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The adults are the big ones right?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
