I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
babies were throwing up all over the place
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Never joke about your clitoris.
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