please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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