is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
