Whod you bang
Sober January is a disaster.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
