things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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