11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
