I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
