the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I want her autograph on my taint
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
