Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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