I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
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I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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