He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
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how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
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Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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