Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
