my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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