I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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