At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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