but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
