Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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