now i know why i became what i already was.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize