Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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