i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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