I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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