I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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