my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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