My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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