He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
