if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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