there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
