My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
