i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
