You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
