so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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