then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
