do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
