Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
