I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
