I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
