just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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