Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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