hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize