Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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