You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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