If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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