wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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