"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
