i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
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Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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