Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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