We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
