I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
