You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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