Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Holy shit dude........stairs
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
